When I became pregnant with our first child I quickly became enthralled with the idea of having a home birth. Being in my own cozy bed, lights down low, and only a midwifery team and my husband around for the birth sounded so peaceful to me. I didn’t think I would ever be able to get my husband on board with it so for a while I let go of the idea of having a home birth.
At the beginning of my pregnancy, I decided to go to a popular obstetrician at my local hospital. At the appointments, they were pretty quick and the doctor I had chosen to work with seemed to be nice enough but after each appointment, I left with a feeling of knowing this was not where I wanted to give birth. The bright white lights, the blue rubber gloves, and the smell of alcohol in the air didn’t feel like the place to have the spiritual birth experience that I had been dreaming of.
About four months into my pregnancy my husband got a job offer in another state about thirteen hours away from our hometown. We didn’t want to leave our beloved hometown but we were desperate for my husband to have a higher income so that I would be able to stay home with the baby.
We ended up packing our things and moving to a different state, I was so worried about finding a new doctor and I put it off for a while once we got there. I ended up researching about midwives in the area and I begged my husband to at least let me have a consultation with a midwife that I found and he said okay. I was so excited. My husband was worried about my and the baby's safety but I asked him to trust me and he did.
I ended up working with this midwife and I got my home birth in the end, a 10 lb 1 oz baby boy that I had at 42 weeks. I loved being at home during and after the birth, although not everything went exactly how I had wished it would but I learned a lot about how I wanted it to go the next time around.
I have always known the importance of eating healthy but during pregnancy with my first, I didn’t eat as healthy as I should have. I probably had too much sugar, bread, and nowhere near enough protein. Meat did not sound appetizing to me my whole pregnancy so I hardly ever ate any. I came to regret this when I developed pretty painful diastisis recti from not having enough protein to support my abdominal muscles. I knew next time I wanted to work with someone who prioritized the importance of a good diet and healthy lifestyle during pregnancy.
In the past, I had briefly heard of the wonderful midwife named Donna in our hometown that had decades of experience and I always dreamed of working with her one day but I didn’t think that would ever happen, especially now that we had moved to a different state. I always had Donna in my heart wishing and hoping that one day I could work with her.
When I became pregnant with our second child (which was not planned) I was pretty distraught. Our son had just turned one and I didn’t know how I was going to take care of a toddler and a new baby in a state far from home and far from friends and family. I had really struggled mentally the first year of my son's life. I missed my family and I grieved not being able to share the first year of my baby’s life with them and to have them around to support me. I became very lonely and felt like I had no purpose.
Although we did not plan to have a second child just yet, I knew I wanted to welcome this baby and pregnancy with love and I knew I couldn’t do that living so far from home. My husband and I decided to move back to our hometown so that we could be closer to family and have more help.
Before we moved home I called Donna and asked if she had availability to work with me and she said she did and she started working with me over the phone until we moved back home and started having regular appointments at our home. I was truly over the moon excited to work with Donna, my dream of having a home birth in her care was coming true.
Moving home was a really good choice for us, I finally started to feel better mentally and had family and friends to surround myself with. I was also so happy to see my son play with his cousins and grandparents.
When I started working with Donna I immediately ordered my herbs and supplements and started taking them, I also started the diet and felt great! I had a little morning sickness in the first trimester but after I stopped eating sugar that went away. I drank my tea every day and I loved it. I think the tea really cleared my skin up and made it glow. I also think cutting out dairy, sugar, and bread really cleared up my skin too. Every day I would go on a walk early in the morning with my son and I tried to stay active throughout the day. I felt the best I have ever felt while following Donna’s program.
As each appointment came I was always excited to see Donna and Holt, I admire them both so much. I felt so lucky to be able to work with them. Donna proved to be a provider I knew I could fully trust and this was very important to me, I knew I was in the best hands. I loved all of Donna’s beliefs about eating healthy, whole foods and it just felt like a match made in heaven all around.
Our baby girl was due December 31st and going through Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas around all the sugar was pretty tempting but I was glad I stuck to Donna’s program because it really paid off in my pregnancy and birth. With my first birth, I had extremely painful contractions with no breaks in between them for 18 hours straight, and I really believe sugar played a big role in amplifying my contractions and causing more inflammation in my body. My family felt bad for me that I couldn’t eat sugar on the holidays but even though it was hard, I didn’t care because it was so worth it! My body felt so good and my back pain disappeared from eating real whole foods. I’m so grateful that Donna held me to it because she really drove me to stick to the program and I probably wouldn’t have without her encouragement.
Some odd days before Christmas Eve Donna had come over to check me and I was dilated to 4 cm, I was pretty dilated and stretchy, so this baby was going to come quickly once my water broke. I was really hoping to at least make it through Christmas so that my baby wouldn’t have to have a Christmas birthday, although I’m sure it would be special to give birth on Christmas but I was okay with waiting for the craziness of the holidays to be over before this baby came.
Somehow I made it through Christmas without going into labor and I was relieved that I did because we had a lot of family over for Christmas and I really wanted to have the peace of mind knowing that no one would be around for the birth. With my first birth, I had only my husband and birth team there and that's how I wanted it to be this time too. I think it’s important to treat birth as a sacred event I didn’t want my whole family there watching. To me, it is so nice to not have to worry about anyone else and just put all your focus on getting that baby out safely and not worrying about other people’s energy around you in such an intimate, sacred moment.
On December 27th Donna came over at around 11:00 AM and checked me and I was dilated to 5 cm. Somehow Donna knew this baby would come that day. I was still in disbelief that I was in labor because I had no pain at this point, my contractions just felt like mild Braxton-Hicks which I was grateful to not be in pain but I was worried I wasn’t actually in labor.
At 3 pm I was dilated to about 6 ½ cm. and Donna and her assistant decided to go get some food real quick and to call her if anything changed. I still was feeling no pain at that point, I remember having pressure in my tailbone and my legs were tired from walking a lot to get labor going but other than that my contractions still didn’t hurt. My friend texted me and asked how things were going and I remember telling her that I really didn’t think a baby was going to come that day because I could barely feel my contractions and this was such a different experience from my first labor. I texted my friend again at around 5:40 PM and said “dilated to an 8 still no pain haha”.
Soon after I sent that text I did start to feel some more intense pressure and I started to have to breathe more through them but still, they weren’t crampy and they were extremely bearable. During the contractions I felt like I could feel my cervix stretching with each wave and I was surprised at how in tune I felt with my body, I could feel her through the whole birth and felt very connected to her in the womb.
At around maybe 10:30 PM Donna checked me and I’m not sure exactly what I was dilated to, I think a 9 but we decided to break my water, and then came the more intense contractions. They were still easy enough for me to control my breathing with but they did start to hurt and I remember thinking “wow this sucks, it was so easy before! I don’t want to do this for long.”
While I was lying there breathing through my contractions I knew that if I were to get up on my knees she would come out quick and I could get this over with. On my next break between contractions, I got up on my knees and waited for another contraction to come and when it did I could feel her head descending and as she was crowing Donna was telling me to wait to push her out so that I wouldn’t tear but my body felt like it was just pushing her out for me and so I just pushed and out she came. When she came out it didn’t really hurt, it wasn’t pleasant but it was so much easier compared to my first.
My beautiful baby girl that I had dreamed about was staring up at me with her little eyes and I was instantly in love. Easily one of the best days of my life. She weighed 6 lbs 12 oz, was born at 10:54 PM, tiny and perfect. She came out with a nice pink color and had some good cries. I was so shocked at how quickly she came out I felt so blessed to have such an easy labor and I felt I deserved it after how painful and long my first birth was.
Donna and her assistant cleaned me up and checked if I needed stitches, I had no tearing, therefore, I didn’t need any. They took great care of me and our baby, I felt so much love. Before Donna left she got me all cozied up in bed with my husband and our baby, she kissed me on the head and left us to get some rest. This felt so special to me, I was so grateful to have a midwife who cared so much for her girls.
Donna came back throughout the week and month to check on me and our baby and also my husband, she cares a lot about the dad’s well being too. She continues to help me to this day and I feel that I’ve made a lifelong friend. She has taught me so much about birth, pregnancy, babies, and herbs. I’ve learned so much from Donna and she is truly a powerhouse of wisdom when it comes to all things pregnancy and birth.
Our daughter's birth was a dream come true for me and I couldn’t have done it without Donna and her team, I am forever grateful that I got to have her as my midwife.
Selfie in shorts 30 weeks.
Selfie in dress at 34 weeks with her second pregnancy. Photo of Mason and Brynlie.
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